Why is it that pagan menopausal men seem compelled to grow big white beards? Is it a Santa fixation? A homage to Charles Darwin? Or do they actually feel that a bag of cotton wool Marvined onto their chin will confer upon them supreme authority and convince all those pagans in their immediate vicinity and those who clap eyes on their photographs of their right to rule by virtue of the pride with which they wear their tonsorial tumour?
If it’s true that a beard is a sign of an alpha male then what would happen, I wonder, if everyone turned up for the next Made-Up-Festival at Stonehenge sporting big white beards. Would there be a fight? Would the hirsute horde mill around aimlessly like sheep on stilts, swamped in a miasma of beardy-pheromones? What if only the women turned up in beards? Would Ye Grande Olde Stonehenge Wookies explode from sexual confusion at the mixed signals or would they start jumping one another in reconstructed fertility rights? That would make for more entertaining news footage than the stock shots of scrawny layabouts banging drums they nicked from Oxfam and middle-aged women nattering to themselves while swatting imaginary flies.
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Do you not know the famous picture of Churchill as a druid? They are all actually wearing *false white beards.* It's in Piggott's book on the Druids. Might amuse.
Thanks. I found the picture online and I have to say that it looks like a still from Monty Python. Perhaps back then they were all in it for a giggle. Stonehenge would be a great year-round opportunity for those seasonal street merchants who only sell their fake beards at Christmas. Anything to show up the wookies.
I haven‘t read the book but I remember a review by a philologist whose only criticism was, naturally enough, that Piggott hadn’t given enough attention to sources. He also said that Piggott regards the droid pomp “not seldom humorously”. Do you suppose that these droids know that people have been laughing at them for all this time?
I liked Piggott’s little monograph on Beelzebub.
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